i miss so much

i miss lubbock.
i miss my friends.
i miss my cat.
i miss the apartment.
i miss redeemer.
i miss dusty's sermons.
i miss my jetta.
i miss living only blocks from many people i love.
i miss school.
i miss campus.
i miss speaking french a lot.
i miss the family my fellow language major friends and i made.
i miss coffee.
i miss being a barista.
i miss smelling like espresso when i get off of work.
i miss being on a caffeine high from trying all the shots i pull.
i miss perfecting my baristaship.
does that sound stupid?
thats ok.
i miss my boss kelly,
and when we used to open in the mornings
and chat about life while drinking Meritage.
i miss my routines.
waking up, opening, drinking great coffee,
getting off work, napping with my cat snuggled on my head,
making tea (rainforest matte most likely...or white orchard)
going on bike rides,
going to j&b and journaling.
reading the word on my balcony.
spending time with my community.
sunday mornings, singing hymns.
jogging down the alleyways behind my efficiency.
diet cokes from mcalisters.
grabbing a snow cone from bahama bucks.
hosting couch surfers.
i miss jiminey and elise and christy
and watching glee before bed.

lubbock was so familiar.
so so familiar.
i am about to be even further from that life than already i am.
i am about to be long gone.
from all that i know.
and all that i love.
i am excited.
and hesitant.
i want to leave, but i don't want to leave.
I'm having a hard time letting go.

thank goodness He promises to go with me.
seriously, thank goodness.
He will walk with me.
and He will stay with me.
therefore, its easier to go.
easier to leave behind what i want
and what i know,
easier to go when He reminds me with His word
that people don't know who He is.
that people have been waiting.
waiting for a long long time.